AFC West: Underachievers Unite!

By Sonny Prier

Gross. No wonder there's an east coast bias.

These teams aren't so much "under the radar" as they are "asleep on the couch." If Peyton Manning weren't here to trick us all into thinking Denver is better than 8-8, the NFL might have forgotten to schedule their games.

On December 30th 2012, when the tree falls in these empty woods, here's how it'll land.

The Kansas City Chiefs (10-6)

I can't help it... I kind of like these guys. San Diego has been The Team in this division for every season in recent memory. But this is the year that KC takes the title of "Biggest Post Season Disappointment" from the Chargers. They are primed for a strong regular season run followed by an embarrassing playoff loss... and overdue. Not since 2006, when the Chiefs went almost three full quarters without gaining a single first down against the Indianapolis Colts and their 21st ranked defense, has KC been the AFC West's playoff sacrifice. Crennel, a real coach who his players respect, is in. Todd Haley, a man who was probably burned in effigy after every practice, is out. The team has bought in, and I'm one of those tools who thinks that means something. So is Kendrick Lewis: "Everything changed with that Green Bay win. This season kind of started then. It's been great since that day. Coach Crennel has us all believing."

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/2012/08/27/3781043/kansas-city-chiefs-2012-season.html#storylink=cpy"

The defense is solid. Bowe stayed in shape during his holdout. Jamaal Charles is running like he did in 2010. Matt Cassel is a quarterback. They just look good.

Jamaal Charles: 6.2 yards per carry and inches of forehead.

The Denver Broncos (8-8)

Question: What did the 2011 Denver Broncos have that distinguished it from the rest of the division winners?
Answer: A point differential of -81! (25th in the NFL!)

Ahhhh, Denver. The Little Six Win Team That Could. Last year was just adorable, wan't it? Plucky underdog defies all odds, achieves mediocrity, and backs into the playoffs. It's the kind of feel good story that makes you want to go out and hug a retarded kid. It took (multiple) acts of God for the 2011 Denver Broncos to claw its way to 8-8. This year it will take only Peyton Manning... proving at long last that sending your prayers to him is at least as effective as going to church.

Aside from that (and a shiny new 2nd round Defensive Tackle), this is pretty much the same team it was last year.
Peyton Manning is swell and all, but one player isn't the difference between 6-10 and 12-4...

...amirite, Colts fans?

The San Diego Chargers (7-9)

The introduction on Norv Turner's Wikipedia page includes the line "Turner has coached the most games in NFL history among head coaches with an overall losing record." Awesome.

The Chargers have lived each of the past ten seasons like my Uncle Charlie lived his entire life.

August (Age 6): An astronaut? Of course, Charlie! You can be anything you want!

October (Age 12): Straight A's again, Charlie? You always were our favorite. Have a Werther's!

December (Age 18): Oh... well sure, I guess you can take a year off to tour Europe before going to University. You deserve a vacation after all that hard work!

January (Age 36): What do you mean "dropping out of community college?" You were taking one art history class. No, you can't borrow the car.

I think we're done here... just like their fair weather fans!

If only they could get this kind of attendance at Qualcomm

The Oakland Raiders (3-13)

Carson Palmer hasn't been a top 10 quarterback since Katrina was just another stripper name. How can a player ride this high solely on something that happened so long ago? Here are Palmer's QB ratings for the last five seasons:

• 86.7
• 69.0
• 83.6
• 82.4
• 80.5

And he's already laying the groundwork to throw his receivers under the bus after Oakland's imminent 0-4 start this year. Abandon ship!

But Palmer's old news. There's real fresh meat in town... ex-Broncos defensive coordinator Dennis Allen! If you were wondering what the qualification is for being head coach of the Oakland Raiders, it appears to be "sit on your thumbs while John Fox fields a 20th ranked defense".

Dennis Allen (left)

JUST WIN, MAYBE!

It's Peyton Manning! He's Really Here!

By Sonny Prier

Tonight is the night! After over 18 months of a Peyton free NFL, he's strapping on the pads and playing (fake) football! As a fan of the sport it's appealing. As a fan of the Denver Broncos it's exhilarating! There's no containing my excitement, anticipation, or lack of pants right now, at 7:07pm central time on August 9th 2012.

This is the point when football finally feels imminent. When it feels real. When it feels like the season is here and now, rather than in some cold and distant future. It's the first time YOUR team takes the field and plays a game, exhibition or not, before a nationally televised audience.

Except that they're not televised.

It looks like that $300 NFL Sunday Ticket price tag wasn't enough to buy exhibition games. Maybe next year DirecTV will offer the privilege of chipping in an extra $20 for pre-season coverage.

Just let me see the first quarter... just... just the first five minutes!
Take this, NFL. It's all I have left. Please! Take it! TAKE IT!

Fine. Whatever. Lay it on me, Game Center.

7:29 pm
Do they sing the national anthem before preseason games? It might not be worth a professional's time to sing to twelve people. Maybe someone will come out and do the first verse.

7:32 pm
I hope Denver won the coin toss. Cutler's upcoming chain of pick sixes won't get Manning on the field any faster.

7:35 pm
Still "waiting for the first play". Maybe Urlacher had to go clothesline a streaker.

7:41 pm
Just called my ISP to complain about NFL Game Center's drive chart not showing any plays. Received  $10 off next month's bill.

7:43 pm
Lines! We have colored lines on the fake field! Denver's ball on the 38. Here comes history! Manning's first play in a Denver uniform is the equivalent of Armstrong's first words after the moon landing.

You can't get this kind of experience at the stadium.

7:44 pm
Incomplete! We just lost the moon.

7:46 pm
Manning's first two passes go to Tamme. The first one was probably dropped. The 2nd one is caught for a 1st down.

7:47 pm
Peyton throws another orange line to a grey arrow! That line was on a rope!

This one's gonna make SportsCenter!

7:50 pm
Ryan Clady gets a 10 yard yellow bar, but Manning throws another orange bar to Decker for a first down! He was probably strong in the pocket and right on target and handsome!

7:53 pm
Interception in the red zone? What the hell!? I didn't sign up for this shit!
TEBOW!
TEBOW!
TEBOW!

That's the only thing that came out legibly. Awesome.

7:54 pm
Having problems understanding what just happened. Currently suspect cheating or poor officiating.

7:58 pm
Oh christ... Jason Campbell is starting for Chicago? But he has a chin! Denver is unprepared for this!

7:58 pm
Elvis Dumervil: 2 penalties for 20 yards on 4 snaps.

8:00 pm
Bush fumbles! Denver's back inside the 20. Get your orange lines ready!

8:01 pm
"C. Hanie from the shotgun"? How did Soldier Field not collapse when he walked through the gates?

8:23 pm
This is boring.

Top 5 Broncos Quarterbacks

By: Sonny Prier

If Peyton Manning is good for anything, it's reminding the insolent masses that Denver isn't all Tebows and Quinns. The Mile High City has always served as a beacon to quality quarterback play. To the lowland crevasses of Jacksonville and Tampa flow the ass sweat of broken dreams. To heights of 5,280 feet rise the cream of perennial pro bowl performances. But who's the best of the best? It would be reckless for a mere mortal to pass judgment on gods, which is why I'm currently tapped into my neighbor's Wi-Fi. 

Wrath invoked. Sorry, Brad. Maybe you'll set a password next time, hm?

Let's begin.

5. Craig Morton (1977 - 1982)

After wasting many aimless years piddling around Dallas and New York, Craig Morton finally blossomed during his Denver twilight. His best statistical showings came during these last few seasons. Had Morton spent his entire career in orange and blue, you would have heard of him before just now. But for all the regrets of what could have been, he still compiled an outstanding body of work. In particular, Morton's two Super Bowl appearances place him in the top  99.99999th percentile not just among NFL players, but American males as a whole. (source)

4. Brian Griese (1998 - 2002)

In 2002, Brian Griese was involved in the most violent collision since Atwater vs Okoye when he smashed face first into a slab of concrete. That sounds like part of a larger tale, but alas, it's not. To quote CBC Sports, "Griese was running down the driveway of (Terrell) Davis' home when he stumbled and knocked himself unconscious." 

As a side note, alcohol was not involved in this incident as Brian was on probation for a DUI. Wink.

The point is that Griese did not miss a game despite the broken tooth, dozen stitches and probable concussion. His toughness and team first attitude remain his legacy. To this day young QBs, like Colt McCoy, look to iron man Brian Griese for inspiration in the face of physical hardship.

3. John Elway (1983 - Present)

Like Dan Marino, John Elway carried a mediocre team for fifteen years. Unlike Dan Marino, he capped off his hall of fame career with back to back Super Bowl victories. He's a true NFL legend, and arguably the best QB in league history. Even cantankerous former Chiefs columnist Jason Whitlock ranks Elway at number one.  More than a decade removed from retirement, he still enjoys a panty dropping level of influence in the Denver area... how many active GMs have fans campaigning to erect statues of them at their home stadium?

Unfortunately for Mr. Elway, we at Recliner QB aren't the pushovers that mainstream sports media, hall of fame voters and decades of historical context are. We have standards. And those teeth? Not cutting it, pal. 

Seriously. Dude looks like the love child of Donald Trump and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

2. Peyton Manning (1998 - 2017)

Four MVPs. Eleven Pro Bowls. 1 dreamy smile. Most quarterbacks would be so lucky to have single season as awesome as Peyton's worst. When Elway retired after the 1998 season, he handed the torch of greatness to rookie Peyton Manning... the Denver Broncos' next world beater.

Facial features aside, some may question why Elway isn't #2 on this list. Unfortunately, Peyton had some other advantages thanks to circumstances beyond either man's control. The "NO TOUCHING!" 2000s have been much more QB friendly than John's 80s and 90s, and Manning had a better set of receivers to work with. The separation between those two may be razor thin, but as we all already knew, there's no doubt about #1.

1. Kyle Orton (4 BC - 30 AD)

In 2009 superhuman quarterback and regional beer pong champion Kyle Orton became a household name by leading the Denver Broncos into November as one of the NFL's two remaining undefeated teams. By season's end, this Chicago castoff would complete over 60% of his passes for a blistering 3802 yards. In the new pass-happy NFL, Orton managed to keep pace with the pack, ranking in the top half of all quarterbacks. While other big names like Garrard and Hasselbeck faded into oblivion, Orton thrived under the pressure and delivered a career season.

Did you know...

That the Buffalo Bills haven't made a playoff appearance since Wade Phillips benched Doug Flutie for Kyle Orton on January 8th 2000?

Kyle Orton's Wikipedia page includes the phrase "Heisman Trophy Hopeful"?

Orton's career rushing yards, when multiplied by 3 million, would stretch all the way to the moon and back?

The tensile strength of Kyle Orton's neckbeard is such that you could create a functional, ASME A17 compliant elevator cable by weaving 16 of them together? 

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2012 NFL Draft "All Bust" List Part 2

By:  Bobby Shores

By now you should know what this list is all about, not only did I do it for the 2011 draft, I had so much success with it last year (both in views & year 1 accuracy) that I decided to try and expand it, which means that I had to break it down into multiple parts so my ADD/ADHD (not making fun of this serious disorder that this writer may or may not be diagnosed with but no longer taking medication for) readers can make it through the whole thing. And if you have no idea what I am talking about then you need to go back and read my 2011 NFL Draft "All Bust" List first so you will see my success's and also my 2012 NFL Draft "All Bust" List Part 1.

Adams driven back by smaller guy

Mike Adams-OT-Steelers - It wasn't the suspension for "tatoo-gate" that soured me on him, and the positive marijuana test at the combine only slightly soured (hey, that's a pun....and a good one at that) me on him. And let's face it at 6'7" 323lbs. he has the perfect size to play left tackle at the NFL level; has the footwork of a ballerina, and I think he could be good in pass protection. So why is he on my bust list? First he is on the Steelers who don't develop tackles all that well, and I think that new offensive coordinator Todd Haley plans to go back to classic "Steeler" football and try to re-energize the stagnant run game, and not only is Adams very bad in run blocking, he doesn't play with much....well any mean streak that offensive linemen need to be a good run blocker.

Putting all that aside, my biggest reservation on Adams is his desire, which is even more surprising that the Steelers picked him up. The Steelers seem to usually draft guys that are intense and focused players, players that really seem to love the game of football and playing on Sundays. They don't draft the "soft" guys, they stick with the blue collar, get your hands dirty players that not only relate but ARE the same as the fans that fill the stadium during home games. Knowing all this, Mike Adams seems like he fits the Steelers like the glove fit O.J. Simpson. Adams is a lazy game day player, and I believe that means he is probably even lazier during practices; he has huge stretches of games where he literally looks like he is asleep, and he takes off more plays than NBA officials. When watching him play it seems on nearly every play he does just enough to not give up a sack, with that kind of attitude and work ethic he will fail, and fail quickly in Pittsburg, think of Limas Sweed, just fatter.

Osweiler's low release point

Brock Osweiler-QB-Broncos - Yes I know Jon Gruden loved this guy on his "QB Camp", but let's be real, Jon Gruden would love Rex Grossman if he was on his show today. My issues with Osweiler have nothing to do with his size, which at 6'6 3/8" was a big difference than the 6'7-6'8" that they claimed during his college career. My problems with him is that he has very little starting experience, and in that small starting time he struggled with touch, accuracy, interceptions, and a low release point which is very troubling. For a guy over 6'6" he should NEVER have a ball batted down, and I saw him have more balls batted down than 5'10+/- QB Russell Wilson, that is not good, especially for a 2nd round quarterback.

Osweiler's mechanics may be fixable at the next level, but his personality and leadership qualities are not. During Gruden's QB Camp he came off as incredibly phony, his answers were less believable than a Miss USA contestant telling everybody that "I want world peace, and food for starving African babies", yea he was more unbelievable than them. The "canned" responses are full of fakeness (I don't think that is a word, but I'm going with it anyways) is what will cause him to never gain the respect of a locker room or huddle, and I don't know if you can fix that.

"He will learn from Peyton Manning, one of the best leaders and most respected players in the NFL" you say, well how did other Manning backups do? You saw how well Dan Orlovsky and Curtis Painter did last year, didn't you? How about Jim Sorgi, Brock Huard, Kelly Holcomb, Curtis Painter...you get the idea; how did all his other backups do? See a pattern? Manning has never really developed a backup QB, I think it is because he spends so much time developing all the contributors on offense as a pseudo coach that he just doesn't have time to help out his backup very much.

Expect this alot from Rainey

Chris Rainey-RB-Steelers(5th Round) - Rainey is undersized, has some maturity issues (sent a threatening text message to an ex-girlfriend, yea this kid is a joke), and while he is quick/fast his speed will be marginalized in the NFL where everybody is as fast as him. Being undersized will also make him more of an injury risk in the NFL, and since his durability was a major problem at Florida, look for it to severely cut down his effectiveness for the Steelers, especially if he has to take licks from James Harrison everyday in practice, [Editor's Note: I hear that Goodell is going to start fining Harrison for practice hits also]

Also "tweeners" like him on offense who are just "ok" at multiple positions rarely seem to carve out a role on NFL offenses and when Steelers OC Todd Haley couldn't carve out a good role for the much better Dexter McCluster, look for Rainey to struggle to contribute in a meaningful way. Where he does have some value though is Special Teams, particularly blocking kicks, and that is where his impact will be felt; just don't expect much out of him on offense.

Wanna get the jump on fantasy football? Check out Fantasy Corner guaranteed to win or your money back!

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Off-Season Priorities - Colts Offense

This evening I will take a look at the Colts offense (suggested by my other loyal reader my sister). The Indianapolis Colts always have a strong offense, as long as Peyton Manning is under center the offense should continue to be one of the best in the league.  That doesn't mean that they don't have some work to do though especially along the offensive line, their running game, and there could be come uncertainty with the receiving corp.


Quarterback - Not much to say here, Peyton Manning will soon be the highest paid player in the history of the NFL, he is durable and the possibly the best overall QB EVER (I know most of you will not agree with that statement but I refuse to grade QB's based solely on the Super Bowl Rings).  As long as he is under center (and he has at least 4-6 years of elite production I think) the Colts will be ok and probably be a playoff team, again.  Their backup is Curtis Painter, and he is just that, a backup.  He should never see any real game time and is just an arm to keep Peyton fresh in practice and training camp and to work as an assistant to Peyton, he is not the QB of the future for them and when his contract is close to expiring they may be able to get a late round draft pick for him.

Running Back - This should have been an area of strength for the team, but instead was a weakness due to injuries.  It was not until December that they were healthy enough to see what could have been.  Joseph Addai will be a free agent this year and it is unlikely that the Colts will re-sign him, they basically let their RB's go when they still have some tread left instead of giving them a contract that they will regret in 2-3 years (Marshall Faulk, Edgerrin James, etc).  It leaves Donald Brown as the successor and he finally started to show some of the potential that the Colts saw when they drafted him at the tail end of the first round 2 years ago.  He is making quicker decisions, is a solid pass blocker, and great receiving threat out of the backfield which is what makes him perfect for the Peyton's....I mean the Colts, the only thing he needs to do is work on staying healthy.  The primary backups will be Mike Hart and Javarris James.  Mike Hart is the guy that I like the most, while he has struggle with injuries he was a productive back and I feel that if given more of a chance (and if he stays healthy) he could be productive on the NFL level as a relief back (He should compete for the primary backup job this year).  He will never break long runs or make many people miss, but is suited for getting up the field for short gains and is an above average blocker.  I thought Javarris James showed some flashes as an undrafted free agent but may have to battle some rookies to make the roster this year.  The Colts should be able to stand pat at the RB position this year and pick up either a late round value pick if someone they like falls or pick up some undrafted free agents.

Wide Receiver - One of the deepest positions on the Colts roster, the WR position is highlighted by Reggie Wayne.  Wayne, who has been unhappy with his contract, could be a potential problem area for the Colts.  He has lost a step and the Colts are unlikely to give him the final big contact he desires, while he put up the best numbers of his career last year, his yards per catch was low.  The big numbers were based largely on the lack of a running game that caused Manning to throw more than he ever has.  Pierre Garcon, Blair White, Anthony Gonzalez (if healthy) and company should continue to improve next year and supply the Manning with plenty of targets.  With Wayne near the end of his time in Indianapolis don't be surprised if the Colts draft a big play replacement for him with their 1st pick though its more likely they will address their deficiencies along the offensive line  (their #1 priority has and will be keeping Peyton happy and upright).  Look for them to give extended looks at Maryland's Torrey Smith (fast but needs to be refined in most aspects),  Pitt's Jonathan Baldwin (great hands, ball skills, & top end speed, but has character concerns), and North Carolina's Greg Little (great hands, makes acrobatic catches, speed is adequate).

Tight End - Dallas Clark, enough said.  But honestly, Jacob Tammie broke out this year when Clark went down, and could be the answer for the future if he continues to progress.  Clark has 3 years left on his contract, with most of the money already being paid out, most of the rest of the contract is incentives.  While they do not really need anybody at the TE position, I see Arkansas's D.J. Williams as being the PERFECT fit for the Colts system.  He can line up on the line or split out wide, does a great job catching, and finding spots in zone coverage.  The Colts don't need a TE but if Williams is available they may try to get him, I mean really he fits the Colts to a T.

Offensive Line - This was arguably the worst part of the Indianapolis offense, it was a major reason the run game struggled, and if Manning was not so good at getting rid of the ball quickly he would have been hit a lot more.  Jeff Saturday, the center is still the best lineman that they have and will continue to anchor that position.  On either side of him the Guards. Mike Pollak and Kyle DeVan are adequate.  Pollak I believe is the better of the 2 while DeVan is a better "swingman" able to play either guard or the center position.  The tackles were the biggest weakness for the O-line and with starting LT Charlie Johnson set to be a free agent, look for the Colts to take a loot at USC's Tyron Smith and Colorado's Nate Solder with their 1st round draft pick if they are available.  Both prospects are quick on their feet and excel in pass protection aided by their long arms, which is vital for the Colts.  Tyron Smith is a little raw with his instincts, but Peyton should be able to help him develop at a fast pace.  Solder is more advanced mentally and will be pro ready quicker, but Smith has the greater potential.  RT Ryan Diem is getting long in the tooth, coupled with his false start problems, they will be looking to upgrade that position also.  While the Colts were burned when they moved up and took Tony Ugoh out of Arkansas, there is another tackle prospect there that could intrigue them for RT out of Arkansas, Demarcus Love.  Love has prototypical size and is better at pass protection than run protection, he is probably not ready to step in as an instant starter, but with his familiarity at playing both left and right tackle at Arkansas (their offense has him switching sides every few plays) he would be a great swing tackle. 

Up Next:  A look at the Colts Defense