AFC West Status Report: Week 3

By Sonny Prier

Intrigue! Drama! Failure! Triumph! We've got it all... most.

Denver is schizophrenic. 
Manning put the black hat on Monday night in Atlanta to balance out week one's all too perfect debut. We Broncos fans needed our soaring expectations tempered a bit after that thrashing of Pittsburgh, but mother of God, P-Dawg... that was an emotional double tap. His first quarter 3 INT disintegration is the kind of thing only Browns fans should have to endure.

Nothing like tapenade... and career low performances... together.

Is it over? Hells to the no. Prognosis is still promising. That they made the Falcons sweat in the end despite being -4 on turnovers is a sad kind of impressive, BUT I'LL TAKE IT! The defense looks competent, and Peyton still seems able to carry an entire offense.


San Diego is mysteriously overrated. 
Some individuals are being awfully generous to the Chargers considering the horrid teams they've beaten. Tennessee and Oakland are primed to finish with a combined 0-32 record, yet mainstream sports media often overlook this while marveling over Norv Turner's incredible and nearly unprecedented 2-0 start. 25 other teams in the NFL could have just as easily rolled to 2-0 against the combo of OAK/TEN. There's a decent chance that Atlanta will bring a hard dose of reality to San Diego this week.


Oakland is ADORABLE! 
When I come home after a long, crushing day of being out in The World, my loyal dog is always there at the door. No matter what horrible surprises each unforgiving day brings, dog will be there, a comforting beacon of stability. That's how I feel about the Raiders. They're like a puppy! Good old reliable shitty Oakland. Thank you for always being there for me. Getting crushed by Miami, the consensus worst team in football? Classic Oakland! Lost to SD due to not bothering to train the backup long snapper? Classic Oakland! (By the way... did anyone see him doing any warmup long snaps on the sidelines between those failed punt attempts? Because I sure didn't! CLASSIC!) I love you guys.

"Scamp" doing his Carson Palmer impersonation.

Kansas City is mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.
My 10-6 division winners are a catastrophe. On the bright side, they've been so unfathomably bad that it'll be impossible for them to not improve. Would even go so far to say that they will beat NO this weekend on the road. But that's the hypothetical 1-2 Chiefs. These 0-2 Chiefs lead the NFL in laughability, a stat I just made up that scores a combination of crushed expectations and getting blown out by freaking Buffalo on a scale of 0 to Matt Leinart. Bonus points for local beat writers freaking the hell out.