Monday Night Football 2020

By Sonny Prier

George Carlin rode a phone booth into my bedroom last night. The doors opened and he burst forth with a sense of urgency and authority. I told him that this was two-thirds of my dreams come true. He scowled and shook his head. I dejectedly slunk out of bed and put on some pants.

Next time, my pet.

"Sonny, the future of the NFL is a shambles. The sport will soon enter an age of darkness from which it will never recover. Its decline must be stopped now before the momentum grows too great. I entrust this to you."

Future George Carlin passes me a future iPod. I immediately decide to sell it on eBay and retire early.

"Don't sell this on eBay."

Shit.

George steps back into the booth. As the doors close he shouts back,
"Only your blog can save the future, Sonny. Please! Protect us from ourselves!"

With an audible pop, he's gone.

Guess I can eBay it after listening...

"Play Future George Carlin's warning", I command. Future iPod Siri complies. Out come the sounds of an NFL broadcast. It's already underway. For the sake of humanity I grab my laptop and begin to transcribe...


Mike Tirico: ...rom the shotgun. Empty backfield. Puts it up for Burrell who almost makes a spectacular catch. That one sailed on Stafford, and it went just off Burrell's fingertips. But let's check the flags.

Cyborg Ed Hochuli: There are two fouls against the defense. Illegal motion, shifting before the snap, number 52. That penalty is declined. Pass inconvenience, number 37. This penalty is accepted. The ball will be placed at the spot of the foul. First down.

Mike Tirico: Shields is still arguing the call. He might have a point. There sure wasn't a lot there, Jon.

Jon Gruden: Not at all, but Cyborg Ed Hochuli has confirmed that there are fingerprints on Burrell's jersey. If there were ever two things that don't lie, they're physical evidence and cyborgs.

Dennis Miller: Nebuchadnezzar res ipsa loquitur!

Jon Gruden: Thank you, Dennis.

Mike Tirico: Stafford lines up in the shotgun at the 20. Empty backfield. Takes his time... and fires a bullet past Johnson. Not a good throw at all. It'll be 2nd and 10 depending on the flags.

Jon Gruden: Lawrence Guy came across early.

Cyborg Ed Hochuli: Delayed Offside, number 91, defense. 5 yard penalty. A foul shot will be assessed as the pass attempt was a scoring chance.

Jon Gruden: Just a silly mistake by Guy. He didn't even get to "two Mississippi" before rushing, let alone three. The officials will see that every time. There's no excuse for it, especially on this end of the field.

Mike Tirico: Dimke comes onto the field for the penalty kick. He's uncharacteristically missed his last two... but easily puts this one through, and the Lions take a 74 - 60 lead. Let's check the flags.

Jon Gruden: I don't think there are any.

Mike Tirico: ... oh... well... uh...

<20 seconds of dead air>

Dennis Miller: Actus reus hypoplastic!

Jon Gruden: Thank you, Dennis.

Mike Tirico: Stafford and the Lions offense retake the field for a 1st and 5 on the Green Bay 15. Shotgun formation. Empty backfield. Stafford lobs one down the left sideline and it's picked off again! Stafford telegraphed another one, and Otis Merrill read it perfectly. Schwartz immediately throws out the blue flag. Not a difficult decision by the Lions coach here.

Cyborg Ed Hochuli: Los Angeles has elected to use their 3rd mulligan. We will replay 1st down.

Jon Gruden: No surprise that one was picked off, Mike. Merrill leads the conference in overturned turnovers, and he's now personally burned through all of L.A.'s mulligans. It's time for Stafford to stop testing Merrill. He's already passed.

Mike Tirico: And Stafford's passes have failed.

Jon Gruden: <forced laughter>

Mike Tirico: We'll see how he responds here from the shotgun, as the Lions line up from the 15 again. Empty backfield. Stafford takes the snap and buries a laser in Johnson's chest! Touchdown Los Angeles, as Stafford finally puts one on target! Boy that sure had some heat on it.

Jon Gruden: I tell you, Mike, tha...

Cyborg Ed Hochuli: Illegal jumping, number 90, defense. That penalty is declined.

Jon Gruden: ... that's w...

Cyborg Ed Hochuli: Illegal formation, defense. Double coverage in the endzone. That penalty is declined.

Jon Gruden: ... what we've b...

Cyborg Ed Hochuli: Failure to Tebow, number 81, offense. That 10 yard penalty will be assessed on the ensuing drive.

Jon Gruden: ... been lookin...

Dennis Miller: INTERRUPTUS MAXIMUS!

Jon Gruden: ...

Mike Tirico: Thank you, Dennis. Meanwhile, the Packers, now down 81-60, take over at their own 40. Here's Rodgers from the shotgun with an empty backfield. He rolls out to his left and heaves a rainbow to no one in particular. The jump ball is swatted harmlessly away by number 32 of the defense. Let's check the flags.

Cyborg Ed Hochuli: Swatting, defense, number 32. The ball will be placed at the spot of the foul. First down Green Bay.

Mike Tirico: A reminder for those of you watching from home tonight... attendance here is officially under 30,000 so the 4th quarter will be blacked out. We will stay with you live from the booth, however, as this week the NFL has graciously allowed us to broadcast audio and re-enact the plays with sock puppets. Here's Aaron Rodgers from the shotgun at the Los Angeles 6 yard line. Empty backfield...

Don't Blame it on Tony Romo!

By:  Christian Hardy

After both Cowboys’ losses this season, Tony Romo was the one who took the blame. What happened to the performances by Tom Brady in week three, and Ryan Ftizpatrick (in a completely different way) in week four. It’s quite apparent that there is a huge difference in these three guys, but why is Romo the one who is criticized the most? Why is he the one who takes the blame for every Dallas Cowboys loss? Certainly it can’t be all the quarterbacks fault. Or can it?

On Romo’s first interception, Romo didn’t see Bobby Carpenter playing shallow and then drop back into coverage, on what was a terrible play action call. Disregarding the bad decision by Romo, the former Cowboy Bobby Carpenter returned the interception past nine (yes, nine) Cowboys on the way to the endzone.


On the second interception, the pocket was completely collapsing (Tyron Smith’s back was nearly bumping into Romo) and right as Romo threw the ball he was bumped by a Lions’ defender. It was another bad decision, but this one is on more on the offensive line. Even Laurent Robinson knew it wasn’t Romo’s fault as he took the blame for it after the game. For the second time in the game, an interception ended up in the endzone. This time, though, it was Chris Houston.


The third interception was even less Romo's fault than the others. On this play he is going for the big play (deep to Witten on the seam route) instead of the smart play (checking it down); but that’s what a quarterback is forced to do when he has no running game to help him out. Romo was pressured heavily again on this throw, even being hit as he threw which took a tremendous amount of power off of his throw and it fell short, just short enough for Stephen Tulloch to get his hands on it for the interception. 


With better protection from his offensive line, Romo is golden on two of those three interceptions, and with a small amount of tackling from any offensive player the points don't go up on the board. The last thing we as fans should want to do is take the imagination and creativity out of Romo's game, as that is how the Cowboys put points on the board. Even if you try to say, “Well, Romo always throws interceptions in the fourth quarter,” you would be wrong, Romo has the second best TD/INTratio in the fourth quarter since he set foot in the league as a starter.

While Romo may have contributed to the epic collapse in the second half, where did the defense disappear to? Take a look at Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford's stats for the two halves:


 -1st Half - 9 for 24 (37.5% completion percentage) 0 touchdowns & 1 interception.


 -2nd Half -12-19 (63.2% completion percentage) & 2 touchdowns. 


How ridiculous is that? When the offense and Romo need the defense the most, they allow Stafford to throw all over them like it's 2010. I mean Stafford might look like the hero here, but he has a sub-par game with a 71.9 passer rating (Romo had a passer rating of 86.4 in this game). Even in the 4^th quarter, Rob Ryan still couldn’t figure out that it is going to take more than one corner to cover Calvin Johnson (they couldn’t even do it with 12men on the field). 

What about you Cowboys fans saying that the Cowboys should get rid of Romo? I want to ask you, how many quarterbacks in the NFL are there that you would rather have than Tony Romo who has led us to the playoffs three times in four years? Last time I checked, that’s a good thing. Look, Romo isn’t perfect but he is a great quarterback, you’re just going to have to live with the fact that Tony Romo is the Dallas Cowboys right now; and the team goes as he goes.


Click it here for complete career stats breakdown  


Since 2006, no quarterback has a better passer rating than Tony Romo who has an abstract 100.0 rating in his career. He also has the third most touchdowns in the fourth quarter, as well as third most in yards. Remember, when he finally got playing time in 2006 he only played about half of the season, so those stats can be skewed a bit in terms of yardage and touchdowns, but that is still remarkable. He has also only thrown 17 interceptions in that time frame in the fourth quarter. In fact, he is a better quarterback in the fourth quarter and overtime than he is in the first three quarters. In quarters 1-3 since 2008 he has a 7.7 yards per attempt average (10^th in the league), but in the 4^th quarter and overtime he has an average of 8.6 yards per attempt (1^st in the league). And his TD-INT ratio, well, it’s impressive. Since 2008 in quarters 1-3 he averages 4.8 touchdowns for every interception (12^th), but in the 4^th quarter and overtime he averages 6.3 (2^nd). 


How impressive is that?


His interception percentage also drops from 2.6 to 2.1 in the fourth quarter and overtime. Stats aren’t everything but, they mean a lot. Romo already has 20 career games with 3 TD passes. I know you are asking, “What has Romo done is his career all time?” And boy do I have some surprises for you. For starters, Romo has the 4^th best quarterback rating of all time and the sixth best completion percentage of all time. He also has the 4^th best career yards per attempts ever, only behind three quarterbacks who all retired before the merger of 1960.

But what really stands out to me? Is it the fact that Romo has thrown more TDs than every quarterback other than Drew Brees and Peyton Manning? Nope. It’s that he is actually a really smart quarterback (explaining his score of 37 on the Wonderlic, representing all of those guys from Eastern Illinois). You see, Romo has an ESPN quarterback rating of 55.9 in his big games (includes Sunday, Monday, holiday, and playoff games), all 17 of them. What gives Romo a good passer rating and not a great QBR is the fact that he likes to let his receivers do the work for him. His receivers have the third highest yards after catch in third and fourth down situations when the Cowboys are down by eight or less, as well as the highest YAC percentage of passing yards in the same situation (ESPN Stats & Info). That is very impressive: it tells me that he knows what to do with the ball, but at the same time he knows when to find the open man.

The real question for fans of America’s Team is: Are you ever going to put faith in the franchise quarterback again, and when are you going to realize that this guy is the future, because he is the future, at least for now. Neither Head Coach Jason Garrett or Owner/GM/CEO Jerry Jones, is going to want Romo to get benched and neither should we. Seventy five percent of teams in this league would rather have Romo as their starting quarterback rather than the guy they have taking snaps for them now. But when are the media and fans going to stop putting all the blame for every loss on Romo’s back and start realizing that this is a team effort? 


That’s the question you all need to ask yourselves. Tony Romo is the pivotal point in this offense but the Dallas Cowboys do not live or die by just him, there are still 45 other guys active on game days. Is he a huge factor in every game? Sure, but that doesn’t mean you put the blame for every slight blunder on the shoulders of Romo.

Follow Christian on Twitter: @TheFFAddict and read his blog to feed your football addiction



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