The NFL's Top-5 Greatest Defensive Tackles/Thespians

By:  Corey Doiron

The role of the Defensive Tackle on the gridiron is often overlooked.  Although these indispensable athletes are the first line of defense against their opponents punishing rushing attack, they lack the high Wonderlic scores and "Entourage" like swagger of their Offensive Lineman counterparts.

What's even more overlooked than their on-field importance is their contributions to the performing arts.  Since the mid-60's the Defensive Tackle has been Hollywood's go to position when they need actors that possess the range to portray characters in a variety of roles.  Such roles as:

• Big
• Big and Gentle
• Big and Dumb
• Big and Intimidating
• Big, Black and Intimidating

It's high time we honor these Giants of the stage and screen.  Actually the majority of them were Los Angeles Rams from an era when Hollywood was really booming.  I'm sure that had nothing to do with their acting careers.   

5.  Bob Golic (NFL - IMDB)

Bob Golic was a 3-time Pro Bowl Defensive Tackle from 1979-1992.  Bob played the majority of his career with the Cleveland Browns and is the older brother of ESPN's Mike Golic.  These experiences are what Bob likely draws from if he's ever called to cry on cue.

Bob's greatest role was portraying Resident Advisor "Mike Rogers" on Saved by the Bell: The College Years.  When Zack, Slater and Screech had questions about their future, Mike was their rock.  Given that the show was cancelled after a year, and considering the choices made by it's cast since, it's clear that Mike Rogers was the world's shittiest advisor.



"You ever consider doing porno kid?"

Golic is still active in professional football.  Bob is the current Vice President of Football Operations for the Lingerie Football League expansion team, the Cleveland Crush.  So he's got that going for him...which is nice.

4.  Rosey Grier (NFL - IMDB)
Two Time Pro-Bowler Rosey Grier played 11 seasons in the NFL with the New York Giants and Los Angeles Rams.

As an actor, Rosey made guest appearances on classic American TV shows like Kojak, Quincy, CHiPS and The Love Boat.  On The Jeffersons, Rosey is credited as playing "Powerhouse Watson".  I assume the character was either the fictional, illegitimate (but brilliant) son of IBM founder Thomas J.Watson who pleads with George to invest in his revolutionary solar power plant or a large pimp.

Rosey is also the cousin of Foxy Brown herself, Pam Grier.  Sadly, his acting career never quite reached the height of Pam's despite Rosey being a full cup size bigger.

Grier's magnum opus came when he portrayed the host body for a white bigot in The Thing With Two Heads (trailer).  One's mind reels at just how racist the rejected titles were before the producers conceded.

The Wolrd's First Successful Crackerplasty

3.  Merlin Olsen (NFL - IMDB)
Hall of Fame inductee and a personal friend of Ron Burgundy, Merlin Olsen played 15 NFL seasons from 1962-1976.  Olsen played his entire career with the Los Angeles Rams and made the Pro Bowl an astounding 14 straight seasons beginning his rookie year (which ties an NFL record).

"Avert your eyes mortal."

Building on occasional acting roles during his NFL career, Merlin began a 4 season run opposite Michael Landon on Little House on the Prairie just a year after retiring from football.  Merlin followed that up with a 3 season run as the title character on the NBC series Father Murphy. 

Merlin Olsen also holds the distinction of playing the heavy in my favorite Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode, Mitchell.  Watch it if you have 90 minutes and you're a fan of pleasure.

Merlin Olsen was as successful at acting as he was at football.  Acting wasn't a novelty to him and his kind spirit showed in his roles (he wasn't a very convincing bad guy).  His presence at the center of this list serves as a transition between "Actors who were better Football Players" to "Football Players who were better Actors".

Which brings me to...

2.  Albert Haynesworth  (NFL - IMDB)
The only current player to make the list, what sets Haynesworth apart as an actor is his audacity and commitment to his craft.  While every other Defensive Tackle made a clear distinction between acting and playing football, Haynesworth dared to break all barriers with a haunting performance during an actual football game.
  
On November 15, 2010, ESPN aired a light-hearted farce titled: Monday Night Football: The Philidelphia Eagles at The Washington Redskins.  This absurd comedy got off to a hilarious start when the visiting Eagles scored an unanswered 28 points in the first quarter.  Uproarious laughter could be heard throughout the nation with the exception of FedEx field in Raljon Maryland.

The whimsy set the stage for what became the most daring display of performance art ever attempted.  Albert Haynesworth, turned one football play into his deeply moving interpretation of a man who could not move.  His portrayal of an athlete being crushed by the weight of shame and lack of professionalism was sobering.  Drawing on his experience of being the most under performing, overweight and absurdly paid defensive tackle in the league's history, Haynesworth gave an emotional tour de force.   

William Shakespeare said "The Play's the Thing".  This play was an Eagles' touchdown.

Haynesworth took a stadium filled with rage and disgust and gave it something pure and beautiful to behold.  Albert's performance was denounced by local sports radio personality Chad Dukes as "Shameful" and "Disgusting".  True artists are rarely appreciated in their own time.

1.  Alex Karras  (NFL - IMDB)
Entering the league in 1958, Alex Karras was a four time Pro-Bowl player and played professionally for 12 seasons...non consecutively.  He was asked to take a break in 1963.  Why the one year suspension you ask?  Was he caught with a telegram discussing a bounty program?  No, nothing that heinous.  Just the minor faux pas of admitting to placing bets on football and his highly suspicious ties to organized crime.

"Are you shittin' me?"

But at least Karras was a good sport about it.  Upon his reinstatement, Alex refused to call the coin toss when asked by an official.  His response, "I'm sorry sir, I'm not permitted to gamble."

Karras' acting career has been much more prolific.  You may remember Alex as George Papadapolis, the retired football player who takes in the orphaned child of a teammate in the hit series Webster.  Webster was successful because it filled the 3 year "orphaned black child raised by an affluent white man" hole in American Television that Diff'rent Strokes left when it was cancelled.

Prior to Webster, Karras was in big budget Hollywood productions.  Against All Odds told the story of a disgraced football player who falls in with his shady criminal friend after being released for point shaving.  It is not a documentary of Alex Karras, but he does die in it (Spoiler Alert!).

But what Alex Karras is most famous for is for his portrayal of Mongo in Mel Brook's epic Blazing Saddles.  As Mongo, the mindless brute that terrifies the Johnsons of Rock Ridge, Karras steals every scene he's in. Yet even though Mongo is dim, there's a quiet/hilarious moment of self awareness that might shed light on Karras' own personal issues.

That's depth right there.

So while there have been football players who were better actors, just like there were actors who were better football players.  Alex Karras was the Dad on Webster, the Sheriff in Porky's and the only man in cinematic history to ever knock out a horse with one punch.

Follow Corey on Twitter:  @CoreyDoiron

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